How to Tame Jerky Behavior without Having to Say a Word

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It’s morning and the whole department is gathered up talking about the previous day and doing a little small talk about current events. Overall the atmosphere is positive and exciting. Everyone seems to have a smile on their face and in a good mood. Even the manager is happy. Sales are good. Production is good. Life is happy.
Meanwhile…..
Sitting at his desk one particular person is not feeling the vibe of positivity. He is sitting in silence with his elbows on the top of his desk and his chin buried in his knuckles. Looking down at the paperwork sitting in front of him, he takes a couple long deep breaths. The laughter and small talk about last night’s television shows are physically nauseating to him.
When he finally thinks to conversations are about to wind down so he can sulk in peace, his boss comes out of his office and joins in the chatter. He looks over and the manager has just propped against a coworker’s desk, as to settle into the current conversation.
That’s it! He has had it. He stands up abruptly, sending his chair flying into the wall. He grabs the paper he has been staring at for the last ten minutes and marches over to the group on chatter boxes. He demands, “Whose bright idea was it to set these accounts up like this?”
The conversation comes to an immediate halt. Every quickly turns so they can see both the boss and the employee who made the demand but slow enough not to gather any attention to themselves. The manager gives up propping on the desk and stands straight up. With a stone face he just stares straight in the eyes of the irritated man.
There is nothing but silence for what seems like an eternity. He waits and still nothing but silence and a icy glare. The man making demands realizes he has obviously crossed a line. The manager is stoned face. The irate man’s anger leaves and is replaced with worry. The only thing that comes out of his unintentional opened mouth is hot air. The only thing he can hear is his pulse beating what seems like right behind his ear.
Although he doesn’t have to say a word he does. With an stone cold look, the manager simple says, “Try again.”

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The Law of Expectations

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The law of expectation says – whatever one expects with confidence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It never fails that each time I play golf with a group, one guy will get on the tee box and hold his driver out while in his stance and stare at the ball. He will reluctantly start his back swing very slowly and then take a hack. The ball would either slice terribly or not move from the tee box. The guy will walk back to his bag with his head down and say, “I knew I was going to do that!”

Someone in the group will usually pull a sarcastic comment out and say, “You know what your problem is? You are standing too close to the ball after you swing.”  Ha

My point in this is that if you knew you were going to do it, don’t do it. Step back and reset your thinking before you swing. Stop imagining your ball headed for the lake on the right side of the fairway and imagine the ball sailing straight down the fairway with a tiny bit of draw that will land softly in the middle of the fairway and set you up for your next shot. This is how winners think. Don’t expect failure. Expect success! Don’t play not to lose. Play to win.

There have been numerous studies done around the county where the school system would take random classes of students and told them they were handpicked because they were the brightest intellectually, had the most potential in life, and a lot was expected from them. These groups of students did quantum leaps better in academic performance than other classes that were told anything special about their expectations.

As a leader you must be honest and optimistic about the expectations you have with others. Everyone has potential and you have the responsibility of bringing it out.

 

Be sure to get my eBook: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/411467 Lessons From Paw Paw Cover

Shape Your Character in 47 Days cover 4   https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/433783

 

Willpower Is Not Enough

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To have willpower is to control one’s natural impulses and actions by exhibiting self-control and self-discipline that enables someone to do something despite the difficulties involved.

Imagine this. You are in a boat in the middle of the ocean.  It has an autopilot that is set for a particular location. Once it is set all you have to do is let it go and it will head directly to the location that it is set for.  When the wind or current knocks it off course, the autopilot makes adjustments and corrects itself.

If you change your mind and decide to head to a different location, you could grab the wheel and physically force it to head in the new direction from where the autopilot is programmed. By pure willpower you could overcome the autopilot but you would feel constant resistance. Your arms would eventually tire of the stress. You would let go of the steering wheel and the boat would instantly head back in the original direction.

Willpower says, “I’ll force myself to eat less, to get in shape, have a more positive demeanor, to do the activities that will make me more successful.” But if your autopilot is set for a different location, you are fighting an unwinnable battle.  You can create short term change but also you create constant internal stress because you haven’t dealt with the root cause, where your auto-pilot is set.

What is it you are subconsciously headed toward? Is it success? Is it self-imposed punishment? Change the way you think and change the way you live.

How to Measure a Man’s Greatness

vvstatueYou don’t measure a man’s greatness by his talent, riches, or accomplishments. You judge a man’s greatness by what it takes to discourage him.
There have been hundreds of thousands of people who have accomplished magnificent feats only to be forgotten and remain nameless throughout the ages. Why would this be?
At the first sight of adversity they crumble up and fold. If someone can’t take a little criticism without getting discouraged, he isn’t very great. How to truly discern who is great is to ask yourself how much would the person be worth if you took away all their accomplishments.

One song that shows a man’s greatness is:
Craig Morgan This Ain’t Nothin’
He was standing in the rubble
Of an old farmhouse outside of Birmingham
When some on-the-scene reporter
Stuck a camera in the face of that old man
He said, tell the folks, please mister
What are you gonna do
Now that this twister has taken
All that’s dear to you
The old man just smiled and said
Boy, let me tell you something
This ain’t nothin’
He said, I lost my daddy when I was eight years old
That cave-in at the Kincaid Mine left a big old hole
And I lost my baby brother, my best friend, and my left hand
In a no-win situation in a place called Vietnam
And last year I watched my lovin’ wife
Of fifty years, waste away and die
And I held her hand as her heart of gold stopped pumpin’
So, this ain’t nothin’

Power Reveals Character

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Johnathan was a very smart man. When his coworkers had a problem or grievance, they would go to him to render his advice even though he had no authority over them and worked side by side with them every day. Not only was he smart, he was a hard worker. He worked for a purpose. He wanted to be the leader of his section of the organization.

For years he watched his manager take advantage of him and his coworkers. He would exploit and manipulate people for his personal benefit. He would do things such as make all his people work extra hours and do extra jobs without doing the same himself so he would get his personal bonuses without rewarding or recognizing anyone else. He knew his manager was wrong and had frequent conversations with his coworkers over lunch and breaks about the injustice.  He promised himself and those in his inner circle that if he ever had the opportunity to lead he would never act in the same manner.

It so happened in the months the position did become available and as a result Johnathan won the job. Everyone was excited because they knew things were about to turn around. The just knew that had a good smart and hardworking leader that would have their back and lead them to success.

As soon as his promotion was announced, Johnathan decided that he HAD ARRIVED! His office chair became his personal throne and his former coworkers transformed into his newly appointed servants. He spoke down to everyone and became lazy.  When he found a mistake, instead of correcting it in a constructive way, he took the opportunity to kick them in the teeth. Rating people and berating people became his M.O. Most of the people turned on him and only did the bare minimums, but the few that stayed loyal became his personal servants who he would manipulate on a daily basis. He forced them to sing his praises to feed his ego. He would become upset if they weren’t telling him how wonderful he was.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”

Good leaders know the character of their staff. They find this out by testing them.  Handpick someone to take on a particular project and give them COMPLETE authority for a predetermined timeframe.  See how they respond.  Are they just and make moral decisions or are they abusive? Do they fall apart or can they truly LEAD?

Power doesn’t change people. It only makes you more of what you already are!

 

http://cranstonholden.com/shape-your-character-in-47-days/

 

Everything Leaders Need to Know About Managing People

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