Have you ever asked someone a legitimate question and been met with a confident answer? You had no reason to doubt their response because their words sounded so rational only to find out later that it was just…….well ….made up.
This person has just outright lied to you and it doesn’t really make logical sense. It would have been better to just say, “I don’t know” or I’m not sure” or “Let me check and get back with you”. But instead they just made something up.
Why do people lie under pressure? If the consequences of pretending to know can be so damaging, why do people keep doing?
Because in most cases, the cost of saying, “I don’t know” is higher than the cost of being wrong, at least for the individual.
They know that when you discover that they were bluffing and are completely full of it, they can just plead ignorance or shift the blame to someone else (especially a subordinate). But you finding out the truth is a risk they will take because the bluff may never be exposed. People would rather look wrong than ignorant.
It’s morning and the whole department is gathered up talking about the previous day and doing a little small talk about current events. Overall the atmosphere is positive and exciting. Everyone seems to have a smile on their face and in a good mood. Even the manager is happy. Sales are good. Production is good. Life is happy.
Sitting at his desk one particular person is not feeling the vibe of positivity. He is sitting in silence with his elbows on the top of his desk and his chin buried in his knuckles. Looking down at the paperwork sitting in front of him, he takes a couple long deep breaths. The laughter and small talk about last night’s television shows are physically nauseating to him.
When he finally thinks to conversations are about to wind down so he can sulk in peace, his boss comes out of his office and joins in the chatter. He looks over and the manager has just propped against a coworker’s desk, as to settle into the current conversation.
That’s it! He has had it. He stands up abruptly, sending his chair flying into the wall. He grabs the paper he has been staring at for the last ten minutes and marches over to the group on chatter boxes. He demands, “Whose bright idea was it to set these accounts up like this?”
The conversation comes to an immediate halt. Every quickly turns so they can see both the boss and the employee who made the demand but slow enough not to gather any attention to themselves. The manager gives up propping on the desk and stands straight up. With a stone face he just stares straight in the eyes of the irritated man.
There is nothing but silence for what seems like an eternity. He waits and still nothing but silence and a icy glare. The man making demands realizes he has obviously crossed a line. The manager is stoned face. The irate man’s anger leaves and is replaced with worry. The only thing that comes out of his unintentional opened mouth is hot air. The only thing he can hear is his pulse beating what seems like right behind his ear.
Although he doesn’t have to say a word he does. With an stone cold look, the manager simple says, “Try again.”
If you like this lesson, be sure to get a copy of my upcoming eBook.
The law of expectation says – whatever one expects with confidence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It never fails that each time I play golf with a group, one guy will get on the tee box and hold his driver out while in his stance and stare at the ball. He will reluctantly start his back swing very slowly and then take a hack. The ball would either slice terribly or not move from the tee box. The guy will walk back to his bag with his head down and say, “I knew I was going to do that!”
Someone in the group will usually pull a sarcastic comment out and say, “You know what your problem is? You are standing too close to the ball after you swing.” Ha
My point in this is that if you knew you were going to do it, don’t do it. Step back and reset your thinking before you swing. Stop imagining your ball headed for the lake on the right side of the fairway and imagine the ball sailing straight down the fairway with a tiny bit of draw that will land softly in the middle of the fairway and set you up for your next shot. This is how winners think. Don’t expect failure. Expect success! Don’t play not to lose. Play to win.
There have been numerous studies done around the county where the school system would take random classes of students and told them they were handpicked because they were the brightest intellectually, had the most potential in life, and a lot was expected from them. These groups of students did quantum leaps better in academic performance than other classes that were told anything special about their expectations.
As a leader you must be honest and optimistic about the expectations you have with others. Everyone has potential and you have the responsibility of bringing it out.
Be sure to get my eBook: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/411467
Shape Your Character in 47 Days https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/433783
I’m happy to announce the publishing of my third eBook coming very soon. When thinking about what I have learned and what I could share with other people, the thing that comes to the very front of my mind is how to deal with people who are …. well…. simply put……Jerks!!!
To have willpower is to control one’s natural impulses and actions by exhibiting self-control and self-discipline that enables someone to do something despite the difficulties involved.
Imagine this. You are in a boat in the middle of the ocean. It has an autopilot that is set for a particular location. Once it is set all you have to do is let it go and it will head directly to the location that it is set for. When the wind or current knocks it off course, the autopilot makes adjustments and corrects itself.
If you change your mind and decide to head to a different location, you could grab the wheel and physically force it to head in the new direction from where the autopilot is programmed. By pure willpower you could overcome the autopilot but you would feel constant resistance. Your arms would eventually tire of the stress. You would let go of the steering wheel and the boat would instantly head back in the original direction.
Willpower says, “I’ll force myself to eat less, to get in shape, have a more positive demeanor, to do the activities that will make me more successful.” But if your autopilot is set for a different location, you are fighting an unwinnable battle. You can create short term change but also you create constant internal stress because you haven’t dealt with the root cause, where your auto-pilot is set.
What is it you are subconsciously headed toward? Is it success? Is it self-imposed punishment? Change the way you think and change the way you live.
You don’t measure a man’s greatness by his talent, riches, or accomplishments. You judge a man’s greatness by what it takes to discourage him.
There have been hundreds of thousands of people who have accomplished magnificent feats only to be forgotten and remain nameless throughout the ages. Why would this be?
At the first sight of adversity they crumble up and fold. If someone can’t take a little criticism without getting discouraged, he isn’t very great. How to truly discern who is great is to ask yourself how much would the person be worth if you took away all their accomplishments.
One song that shows a man’s greatness is:
Craig Morgan This Ain’t Nothin’
He was standing in the rubble
Of an old farmhouse outside of Birmingham
When some on-the-scene reporter
Stuck a camera in the face of that old man
He said, tell the folks, please mister
What are you gonna do
Now that this twister has taken
All that’s dear to you
The old man just smiled and said
Boy, let me tell you something
This ain’t nothin’
He said, I lost my daddy when I was eight years old
That cave-in at the Kincaid Mine left a big old hole
And I lost my baby brother, my best friend, and my left hand
In a no-win situation in a place called Vietnam
And last year I watched my lovin’ wife
Of fifty years, waste away and die
And I held her hand as her heart of gold stopped pumpin’
So, this ain’t nothin’